I hate my luxury vehicle… that I love so much

I have a couple of thing working against me with my luxury vehicle:

1) We live in the greenest city on earth and my luxury vehicle is our 3rd car – we only have 2 drivers, ergo I’m a polluting/environment-hating bastard.

2) Hipsters love my luxury vehicle – I hate hipsters.

3) It’s a piece of shit that spends more time in the shop than it does chugging down the highway.

I'm not trying to sound pretentious or "braggy" but many of you don't realize that I drive a mother f&cking Mercedes...

Now, I have a couple of things going for me with my luxury vehicle too:

1) It’s a 1980 Mercedes Benz that was owned by my grandma – she loved this car, I loved her.

2)  It’s the ultimate in driving satisfaction (or is that Lexus’ tagline?).

3) It cost about $700

The "backside" of my luxury vehicle, replete with tribute license plate ALOOOHA (my grandmother had the original ALOOHA California plates on it). Nani was from Waikiki and you can actually read about her experiences growing up there in her memoirs, "Born and Raised in Waikiki" found on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Born-Raised-Waikiki-Betty-Sorenson/dp/0964563177


I was driving with a friend to meet another friend this past Monday and as we cruised along highway 99 during rush hour, my glorious luxury vehicle decided that it no longer felt like running (it’s a prima donna that way).  This was both scary and required quick thinking.  I had not a clue what to do.  Luckily a nice police officer happened to be right behind me and quickly offered to ram my luxury vehicle to the safe confines of the highway’s shoulder.  He did this as gently as possible and seeing as my luxury vehicle was built on the chassis of a 1943 panzer tank, it held up completely fine.

This happened about a week after I picked up my luxury vehicle from the shop after dropping about $500 to fix the alternator and a myriad of other minor problems.

My “guy” – all owners of luxury vehicles have a “guy” that they call upon to overcharge them for repairs – told me that it was just the case of the alternator crapping out and that it was no problem.  Then he called me 15 minutes later to say there were just a couple of other slight problems and that they were no problem.  The story of my “guy” is for another day.

It was pretty lucky I found my "guy" although it is awkward when he wears this outfit

I know my “guy” is good because he actually successfully put a new engine in my luxury vehicle after we forgot to put oil in it for about a year (that’s not a recommended servicing practice).  So, needless to say, this luxury vehicle of mine has been a challenge.  I just can’t quit my luxury vehicle though.

This leads me to where I am now and the tough decision of whether I should bring my luxury vehicle back to my “guy” to dump more money in in the hopes that it may again run – or – I can contemplate cutting my losses and donating it to some charitable organization, like MAH (mother’s against hipsters).  Please help me make my decision:

My vote is to donate it to a worthy cause - so we can get guys like this off the street... and in jail where they belong!

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5 thoughts on “I hate my luxury vehicle… that I love so much

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jessica Roberts, kungfoolery. kungfoolery said: I hate my luxury vehicle… that I love so much: http://wp.me/pLnd5-7Y […]

  2. Eric Burgess September 15, 2010 at 9:19 pm Reply

    I love that you hate hipsters. That statement MADE this post.

    • seattlekungfoolery September 16, 2010 at 9:22 am Reply

      @Al, although I do love my brother, the fact that he is now Swedish offsets his hipsterness, but then again he has the ultimate hipster prop, babies! So you’re right I hate him

      @ EB, thank you for acknowledging that hating hipsters is an ok thing, I pride myself of my tolerance of everyone BUT hipsters!

  3. Alannah September 16, 2010 at 7:56 am Reply

    Careful now, that guy you hate so much in that photo looks frightening like another person we know and love (cough…our brother).

  4. […] I hate my luxury vehicle… that I love so much Older Stuff Select Month December 2010  (5) October 2010  (4) September 2010  (2) August 2010  (2) July 2010  (2) June 2010  (11) May 2010  (13) April 2010  (4) March 2010  (3) February 2010  (3) January 2010  (6) Categories Select Category Animals Baby, Fatherhood, Birthin’ Food Humor, Satire Local Seattle Mobile Media Music New Media, Social Media Observatationalist, OvaHere… Sports Uncategorized What Strangers Ask You? /* 0 ) { location.href = "https://seattlekungfoolery.wordpress.com/?cat="+dropdown.options%5Bdropdown.selectedIndex%5D.value; } } dropdown.onchange = onCatChange; /* ]]> */ Category CloudAnimals Baby, Fatherhood, Birthin' Food Humor, Satire Local Seattle Mobile Media Music New Media, Social Media Observatationalist, OvaHere… Sports Uncategorized What Strangers Ask You? […]

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